in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
(via h1ght0ps)
today my sister asked me for a glass of cold water and i sarcastically asked her “how cold” and she said “as frigid as your love life”
(via emisaurus314)
